all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
