It's just like the Real World with babies
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
