I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
