he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
