Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
