arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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