I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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