Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
