Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
