My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
