I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
