Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
