Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
