I'm really into asian looking animals
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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