Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
