I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
