Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
