All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
