Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The air was thick with penises
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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