Do you still have your period?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
