oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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