I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
