hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
