i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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