There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
