dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
