There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just cropdusted the office
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
