rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
