yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
