I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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