I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
