He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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