Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
