this beer tastes like vomit already
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
