eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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