I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
