I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was confusing and full of hummus
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
