i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
