It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wear drunk well.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
