You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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