That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
