the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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