my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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