Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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