This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
