this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Boobs are out for the taking
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
