im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
