i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
