I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
