the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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