There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
