I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
